What It Is Like to Be One-child Parents

The first time O projectile vomit, E and I freaked out.  We immediately called his pediatrician.  While waiting in the waiting room of a low-income health clinic (we chose this particular health center because of its location and we didn’t mind giving them our insurance money), I made sure to situate our baby away from other babies.  He hasn’t been vaccinated and I have no idea if the other babies have contagious sicknesses.  I know… I am being overly protective and cautious.

My new personality trait (over-protectiveness) stems from the fact that we chose to have one child.  O would be our one and only.  Why?  Because we want to be able to pack him up and maintain the same adventurous lifestyle we had as a childless couple.  E wants to be able to go on his regular surfing excursion… but now, with O.  I want to explore a new forest, jungle, mountain, food market, alley… but now, with O.  Another reason that motivates us to stay focused on a one-child family philosophy is we do not want to ever experience sleepless nights or pregnancy again.  We had a miscarriage  prior to being pregnant with O and that left us with a big scar.

When we found out we were pregnant with O, we weren’t one bit trepidatious, we knew deep down we were ready for the parenthood journey.  What we weren’t prepared for was the almost-suffocating protectiveness we feel toward him.  While pregnant, we agreed to all non-invasive genetic tests; I got my blood drawn a whole lot during the 9 nine months of pregnancy.  All the tests came back negative.  He is a healthy and thriving little fetus, my doctor repeatedly informed us.  When it was time to test for gestational diabetes, we were also in the clear.  My blood pressure was normal and consistent even when I was stressed out.  Needless to say, O is very healthy little dude who loves to spit up.  He is a happy spitter, the doctor says.  Sometimes, he is also a happy projectile pee-er.

E and I count our blessings every day.  How did we get such a healthy, active, and smiley little guy?   Why are his eyes so stunning (they are dark blue with a hint of amber?)  Where did strong desire to learn new things come from (his eyes pop out whenever we teach him a new sound,) even at 3 months old?

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I am pretty sure that our sleepless nights won’t be over once O can sleep through the night.  But they will be less frequent.  And yes, once in awhile, I wonder if O should have another sibling.  Sometimes, I see sadness in E’s eyes when he knows that his family members are only mildly interested in O, whereas my family is overjoyed at every picture I send.  My sisters “ooooo” and “aaaaaa” at how cute and adorable O gets.  On E’s side of the family, his mother (E’s only immediate family member) can’t help that she has a hard time connecting with O; E’s half siblings are distant for whatever reasons.  If O has children in the future, we would be the only 2 immediate family members who will share his joy.

Sometimes I tell E: maybe we will adopt; however, E was a step parent to 3 children for 12 years, and it was one of the excruciatingly painful experience of his life.  Despite the fact that he provided for them financially, tried to gear them toward academic-centric activities, and loved them despite their lack of respect and love for him, they and their mother insisted on making his journey as a father unbearable.  So, adoption is out.

We decided: O will definitely be our only child and he will have to find family with his friends and cousins on my side of the family.

Although O is only 3 months old, E and I are able to share many of our passions with him already.  The other day, E took little O out to the backyard to hang out with the chickens and he was absolutely fascinated with them.  I carry O on my chest as I walk through our micro-farm every morning; it’s a surreal feeling to know that in about 3 months, our little guy will be crawling through rows of tomatoes, green beans, and beets.  Eventually, we will take him hiking, camping, traveling, surfing, biking, etc.

People like to tell us that we would feel a void and will want to try for another child.  But, we are definitely happy and content with one and done.

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